TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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