Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
