I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
