chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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