Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I won the penis lottery.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
