Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I love having hate sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
