if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize