Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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