I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i already hear my dad disowning me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.