it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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