it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.