Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.

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  (917): I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/srjh
  Replies (8) Good night (3051) Bad night (632)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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  (802): Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water. http://tfl.nu/oebe
  Replies (29) Good night (1532) Bad night (7045)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I need a leather bustier to keep them in.

  (925): View more from California

  Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.

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  (406): I need a leather bustier to keep them in. (925): Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that. http://tfl.nu/8m96
  Replies (26) Good night (6181) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Used tampon in my purse. That from you?

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  (330): Used tampon in my purse. That from you? http://tfl.nu/lpyn
  Replies (27) Good night (712) Bad night (9261)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

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  (917): under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift http://tfl.nu/rkcx
  Replies (52) Good night (5895) Bad night (1986)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

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  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7355) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

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  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (47) Good night (8839) Bad night (2230)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

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  (513): He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him http://tfl.nu/bwdr
  Replies (21) Good night (6691) Bad night (1709)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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  (717): Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl. http://tfl.nu/lse9
  Replies (8) Good night (2233) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets

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  (505): I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets http://tfl.nu/m4mv
  Replies (7) Good night (2240) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.

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  (814): Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone. http://tfl.nu/n7df
  Replies (4) Good night (2475) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.

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  (740): When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits. http://tfl.nu/xvhm
  Replies (10) Good night (589) Bad night (2532)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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  (603): I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin. http://tfl.nu/m6dy
  Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.

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  (615): A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday. http://tfl.nu/d723
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left

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  (519): I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left http://tfl.nu/xq18
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (222)

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