Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.

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  (407): The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume. http://tfl.nu/7n2b
  Replies (5) Good night (825) Bad night (1273) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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  (863): just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud http://tfl.nu/54kw
  Replies (11) Good night (4747) Bad night (701)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.

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  (740): Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life. http://tfl.nu/k782
  Replies (34) Good night (5357) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?

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  (310): do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking? http://tfl.nu/6m2c
  Replies (30) Good night (1957) Bad night (9909) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I didn't know people actually cried after sex.

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  (951): I didn't know people actually cried after sex. http://tfl.nu/mss1
  Replies (25) Good night (935) Bad night (7283) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.

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  (314): shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to. http://tfl.nu/ryqs
  Replies (9) Good night (4282) Bad night (1507) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.

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  (817): I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/7tmi
  Replies (36) Good night (9318) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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  (912): His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/9x22
  Replies (21) Good night (847) Bad night (5420) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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  (610): He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/upxm
  Replies (5) Good night (889) Bad night (3469) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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  (703): Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix http://tfl.nu/hs2f
  Replies (5) Good night (1585) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day

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  (414): Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day http://tfl.nu/nn34
  Replies (3) Good night (4749) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits

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  (719): I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits http://tfl.nu/6x3w
  Replies (17) Good night (1383) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens

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  (505): on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens http://tfl.nu/9djh
  Replies (1) Good night (1339) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask

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  (313): What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask http://tfl.nu/sq4u
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.

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  (612): We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door. http://tfl.nu/fjm6
  Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt

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