Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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