i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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