Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
