Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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