If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
