Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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