Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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