In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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