He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
