Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize