She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
