matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
