I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
