Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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