Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
