I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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