It's Friday. Sex?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
