just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
