not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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