I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
