I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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