Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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