Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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