When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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