I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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