the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The power of my boobs compel you
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
