so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
