Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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