I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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