somebody snuck up and got me drunk
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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