worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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