problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
