ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
