your room smells of hookers.
And success
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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