your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
