We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
