The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
