hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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