Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
