I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
