the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
