We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
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he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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