Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
