I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
