Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
