My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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