My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
