her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
