I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
