She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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