and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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