Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
