we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
