i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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