Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
